Why is it that fitted sheets never fit? How can people say there's no global warming, with so many people pouring ice on themselves? Isn't it odd that on Labor Day, people get the day off from work? Can anyone remember why we're supposed to be mad at Cuba? Did the Spice Girls ever get … Continue reading Random Thoughts, 2 September 2014
Category: Humor
Random Thoughts, 26 August 2014
I never liked the Honeymooners. If I wanted to watch a working class couple arguing all the time, I'd have spent more time with my parents. When rich people are above everyone else, there's only one thing that likely to come trickling down. The extremists using the name Tea Party are an insult to all … Continue reading Random Thoughts, 26 August 2014
Force of Habit
I'm normally a creature of habit; I buy fruit and don't eat it; I always set the alarm clock earlier than I should, then hit the snooze button until I feel like getting up; I always buy the same brand of toothpaste, even if there are deals on other brands. This behavior on my part … Continue reading Force of Habit
Random Thoughts, 19 August 2014
If the original Terminator had been set in 2014, Skynet could have easily located Sarah Connor on FourSquare.I wonder why there's never been a Bigfoot siting in Miami.For the past few years, Kentucky Fried Chicken has been using as its theme song Sweet Home Alabama. Let that sink in for a minute.I'm willing to bet … Continue reading Random Thoughts, 19 August 2014
Random Thoughts, 14 August 2014
There really should be a television show called The Walking Dude, about Atlanta being terrorized by Jeff Bridges in a bathrobe. Can anything match the disappointment kids feel when they discover it's not the Leaning Tower of Pizza, or the Specific Ocean. Sometimes, I'm reluctant to leave my house because I'm afraid that the rhythm … Continue reading Random Thoughts, 14 August 2014
Kiss This
Confession time: I was in the Kiss Army. I was thirteen, the song "I Want to Rock and Roll All Nite and Party Every Day" was on the radio, and this sounded like a philosophy I was willing to lay down my life to defend. Granted, I'm not sure why Kiss felt they needed an … Continue reading Kiss This
Alarmed
Jason opened his eyes, and found himself staring at the red numbers on his bedside clock, and realized the alarm had not gone off. It was 9:24 a.m., an hour and twenty-four minutes after he should have been at work. The alarm had not gone off, he found, because he had not set it the … Continue reading Alarmed
Free Bird!
Public domain Confederate flag image taken from http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Confederate_Rebel_Flag.svg. I added the musical notes in Photoshop.I have a theory. Most rock anthems, regardless of how mediocre they are, become hits because the first time people hear them, they're stoned. It's the only explanation I have for Stairway to Heaven, which is musically very good, but lyrically … Continue reading Free Bird!
Troll
Roscoe Delahunt is a troll; there seems little doubt of that. For years, he has surfed the Internet, looking for someone's parade to rain on, and he has rarely lacked people to torment. In the heady days before the World Wide Web, when Usenet was the primary vehicle for Internet discourse, Roscoe, starting as an … Continue reading Troll
The Miracle of the Magic Dollar
Carlton walked into the third-floor break room of the Atlanta offices of Bickering Plummet and approached the snack machine in the far corner. It was six-thirty in the afternoon and Carlton had been at his desk since seven-ten that morning, with no signs of his day ending anytime soon. Fortunately, for Carlton, the machine contained … Continue reading The Miracle of the Magic Dollar