Random Thoughts, 2 September 2014

Why is it that fitted sheets never fit?

How can people say there’s no global warming, with so many people pouring ice on themselves?

Isn’t it odd that on Labor Day, people get the day off from work?

Can anyone remember why we’re supposed to be mad at Cuba?

Did the Spice Girls ever get around to telling us what it was they really, really wanted?

When government is outlawed, only outlaws will be in government. Wait. When was government outlawed?

Maybe modern televangelists can’t walk on water like the gospels say Jesus did, but it sure would be fun to watch them try.

I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anyone who wants to bring back 8-track tape. Perhaps they were all euthanized.

Seriously folks, Woodstock’s promoters scheduled Hendrix for early Monday morning — and it rained a lot.

I really hope, if something ever happens to my fake Internet girlfriend, the press will give me the space I’ll need to grieve.

Pusherman, by Curtis Mayfield is a really catchy tune about a really dismal topic.

If a movie studio did a modern remake of Dial M for Murder, what would they call it?

I’ve always wanted to return to my old high school just to show the students what an education from there will get them.

A little over a year ago I was strung out on smack in a dingy hotel in Lisbon, Portugal, and today I’m head of my own million dollar, multilevel marketing firm. How did I do it? Well, anyone who’s been following me on Facebook should know I didn’t.

I wonder if we’ll ever find out what happened when Josie came home?

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